“It seems essential, in relationships and all tasks, that we concentrate only on what is most significant and important. ” – Soren Kierkegaard
I’m not exactly sure what qualifies someone as an expert these days.  Do you need a degree or is it really experience that counts?  Should you only take advice from someone who is considered an expert?  We all ask friends and family for advice when it comes to love and dating, but that can be a huge mistake because they’re generally going to be biased in your favor.  Plus, unless they have a stellar relationship why would you listen to them anyway!
Maybe you’re wondering if I consider myself an expert in dating and relationships.  I’ll let you decide for yourself, but what I can tell you is one year I went on forty (yes 40) dates and didn’t like one guy, but I kept at it and never gave up.  I’ve been in five long term relationships (which resulted in a broken heart five times) and I think I’ve finally gotten it right.
In my spare time I like to peruse the internet and see what people say about dating and relationships and the best ways to go about each of them.  Here are 6 truth bombs about dating from the “experts” that you can start to apply in your life:

How Many Dates Does it Take To Know if There’s Potential?

After two or three dates, you should honestly know if the person you’ve met is someone you should keep dating. Too often, a mistake men and women make early in dating is overthinking things. By date two or three, you won’t know if this person could be your lifelong partner. But after two or three dates, you will know if this is a person you inherently feel comfortable with. By two or three dates, you will know whether this person is someone you have a natural fit with, and that natural fit is the must-have foundation of any good, lasting relationship.  Seth Myers,PhD -Dating Advice

Try to Have Fun and Take Risks

Many aspects of a date are out of your control, so try to move through any awkwardness or difficulty with flexibility. Don’t let a change of plans, bad restaurant experience or a clumsy, anxiety-provoking moment ruin a great date. Share about yourself, be vulnerable and open, and disclose some personal details so your date feels comfortable reciprocating. The key is to balance healthy boundaries (being respectful, not over-sharing) with taking emotional risks. It’s okay if you are more comfortable listening than talking about yourself, or vice versa, but commit to truly putting yourself out there. That is how connection grows.  Rachel Dack LCPC on How To Connect

Talk About the Future….Not the Past

See, it’s not that I’m asking you to bury all of your insecurities or problems and pretend they don’t exist. It’s simply as Christian Carter reminds us “The first date is not a time to discuss these”.
The purpose of a first date should only ever be to connect and have fun. So many people (men included!) treat dating like it’s a job interview, like they have to get out all of the relevant information as if you’re both trading CV’s!

But this kind of talk doesn’t make you feel connected; all it does is bring up issues that have no place being brought up until you know the person well enough to let them into your life a bit more.
So if you take one piece of advice to your next date it’s this: Focus on the Future, not the Past.
Matthew Hussey reviews Christian Carter

Observation: Men Won’t Always Call After Sex

What You Can Learn From This: Don’t be surprised if 50% of guys don’t follow up. Stop sleeping with men if you can’t handle the consequences. That’s all you can control.  – Evan Marc Katz Dating Advice

Be Your Genuine Self

The key to finding a real, lasting connection with someone? Always be your genuine, most authentic self — even on date number one.

“The absolute best thing you can do on a first date is genuinely be yourself,” Nancy Brooks, Psychotherapist and Couples Counselor, tells Bustle. “One of the reasons why couples don’t work is because people try to be on their best behavior and only give a great impression of who they want to be, not who they really are.” First Date Tips

Run the Numbers

Most research estimates that you need to go on 40 to 60 dates before you find someone compatible, so be prepared to try and try again. It’s like looking for a job, where you know what your parameters are and have a sense of when it is working and not working. Don’t think that the next person you are going to meet is going to be magical. It is a process and you will know when you encounter that outlier.
John & Julie Gottman on Dating