“A woman knows by intuition, or instinct, what is best for herself.” – Marilyn Monroe

Although intuition is nature’s way of telling you something it wrong, it doesn’t always mean you should follow it or that you can.  Sometimes it means learning something you need to learn. What if your intuition is right, but, you have a journey to take? What if following your intuition allowed you to skirt around the hard parts.

Have you ever felt something you knew to be true but you ignored it?  Have you ever intuitively known  the person you are with isn’t truly your soul mate but you stayed with them anyway?

I met a man online once.  Let’s call him Sam.  When Sam showed up for our first date I opened the door and he smiled this huge Cheshire cat smile.  The butterflies started flapping and I thought, “FML. This guy is going to break my heart”.  I knew it the minute I met him.

Did I run away from Sam? NO!  Not only did I not run away I ran towards him into a 2 ½ year struggle trying to gain validation from a man who would never give it.  Did he break my heart?  Yes.  I knew he would and he did and I ignored my intuition completely.

Ignoring my intuition was not in vain because it taught me a million things about myself.  It took me a little longer than I would have liked, but I finally learned the lesson(s).

Awareness

Being aware that your intuition is telling you something is the first step.  In order to change you have to be aware you have an issue that needs to be tackled.

Just because you’re aware doesn’t mean you’re ready.  I broke up with Sam on multiple occasions, but I kept going back because I had some unforeseen journey to take.  After a while I stopped breaking up with him because I knew I would just go back.  There was some force pulling me towards him that I literally could not control.

I’m not saying to stay with a man who beats the crap out of you. What I’m saying is that sometimes we have to go through a struggle in order to learn. Even if we intuitively know something is right or wrong it doesn’t always means we are ready to follow it.

Readiness

We all have many journeys to take in our lifetime and many struggles to overcome.  Once you struggle through one part of a journey it isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.  Usually once you finish one challenge then another challenge is placed in front of you.

Once you have figured out that hurdle you are ready to tackle it head on next time.  Being with Sam taught me a few things. I learned all about Attachment Theory and  how to calm my anxiety and sit with the discomfort that comes with someone else not being able to meet your needs (because you should be meeting them yourself).  I can also recognize someone who is emotionally avoidant a mile away and steer clear.  It taught me    Not only does my intuition serve me correctly on this topic, but I’m ready to follow it.  Before him I wasn’t.

Be okay with the struggle. Learn from it and move past it. It can take one year. It can take 10 years.  We are all doing the best we can.  Trying to be ready and beating yourself up in the process makes the journey even more difficult.

Change

Every hurdle can be overcome. Change can happen and change will happen if you are open to it.  Don’t beat yourself up for not changing fast enough.  Learning to trust your intuition is part of change and the more you love yourself the more you will trust your intuition AND be able to follow it.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to create a place where others could be okay with not being perfect and not being all Zen twenty four hours per day.  When I get bombarded with positive messages, Zen sayings and quotes about life and how you SHOULD think or SHOULD feel I start to feel depressed that I’m not getting somewhere fast enough.

Everyone has a different journey. Mine is ever evolving. Where I am today is not where I was last month or last year of in the last decade.

Sooooo…

As long as you are committed to growth be okay with where you are. Change will come. Some days are easier than others. Some days I cry and feel lost. Some days I feel great and ready to tackle the world. My life is like an ocean with an ebb and a flow, but it keeps moving and that’s all that matters.

I will never be perfect and neither will you. Part of accepting yourself means accepting your imperfections. If