“Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!” – Jay Leno

Why do we even have a Valentine’s Day holiday?

Back in the day the Roman church decided that soldiers were more effective when they were unmarried so Claudius II banned marriages. Supposedly there was a Priest named Valentin/Valentinus who decided this was a stupid idea and decided to secretly marry young men and women behind the Emperor’s back.

Naturally, the Emperor found out (there were plenty of snitches in those days) and he sentenced the Priest to death. While in prison he fell madly in love with a girl (which had to be the jailer’s daughter because where else would there be a girl near prison) and so began their love affair.

The Priest wrote sappy love letters to the girl signed, “From Your Valentin” and since February 14th was the day they lobbed off his head this is where the legend started.

Others would assert that Valentine’s day was centered around a Pagan festival of fertility called Lupercalia and in order to Christianize the event they renamed it Valentine’s Day. As part of the festival (which was eventually outlawed) bachelors would chose a woman’s name and become paired with her for the next year.

Whatever story you wish to believe or whether you care or not Valentine’s Day is here to stay. Over one billion cards are sent/given out every year, which is the second leading holiday after Christmas.

What has Valentine’s Day evolved into?

Everyone knows that Valentine’s Day is really considered a holiday for women. Guys are expected to buy flowers and candy and/or jewelry and even take their girl out to a nice candlelight dinner. Barf.

I will admit that last year I got a dozen long stemmed roses from my guy. I cried. But, it wasn’t because of the flowers (which died in like a week anyway). I cried because he had just left for a six-month deployment a week before and it means he took the time to pick them out, remember my address and place it all online.

It was the thought, not the flowers.

As always, I am moved when someone does something that shows they were thinking of me. Being forced to do it because society says you should do it on this day in this way irritates me.

Is forced romance really romance?

Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but does getting flowers or candy once a year really mean someone loves you? Don’t get me wrong, gifts and such are nice on occasion, but I prefer them when they AREN’T expected.

You know what shows me love?

I have dragged my boyfriend to meet my mom, my sister and my friends. He never complains. Even the one time he thought I was taking him to meet a group of attorneys (which was mortifying for him) he went along without a peep.

He goes to my favorite Italian restaurant even though he thinks it’s a little snobby and once in awhile I can even drag him to my wine club winery even though he’s a beer drinker.

He never lies. He never cheats. He never disrespects me. He snuggles at night. He makes me laugh. He puts up with my fussy moods and my bouts of anxiety.

Is he perfect? No, he isn’t. But, neither am I and the things he does without making an effort show me love and support one million times more than some stupid flowers or a box of candy.

I don’t want those things one day a year and neither should you.

What if You’re Single?

If you’re single Valentine’s Day is the most highly irritating holiday ever. Even if you love being single (which I generally do) the last thing you want to be reminded of is that you should be getting a stuffed animal and cuddling with someone and instead you’re home alone in your sweats eating ice cream out of the carton.

I’m cool with being single, but when I am single I don’t want to be reminded that I don’t have the affection and attention of a mate. I don’t want to be reminded by every 30 second television ad that I’m NOT getting something even if I don’t want one of those ugly heart pendants.

Even worse, what if you just broke up with someone?  Just think of the torture.

No one wants to be constantly reminded by society that they are somehow inadequate because they haven’t gotten married and had 2.5 children.

In my opinion if you’re single on Valentine’s Day you should be celebrating because you can do whatever you want whenever you want however you want (as long as you don’t throw candy at people).

Think of it as an “I’m in love with myself” day.

Go to a bar and meet other singles. Turn off the television and ignore your Facebook with all the coupled-up well-wishers. Or, decide to date yourself and spend the day at a spa drinking champagne and laying by the pool (if you live in California where it’s always warm).

The last thing you should do is sit around and pine after an ex or feel sorry for yourself because you’re alone. Being alone doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely.

The Commercialism Sucks

I mean come on, why are there so many Days for everything now? When did all these “holidays” start popping up and who thought it was a good idea to celebrate everything under the sun for a day? Bosses’ Day, Secretary Day, Sweetest Day, National Girls and Women in Sports Day, Military Spouse Day (and I’m a military SO), Helen Keller Day and the list goes on.

About the only “holiday” I’m cool with is National Wine Day because who doesn’t like wine. But again, seriously? Why do we need a day for this? How about a week or a month or like every day?

Am I the only one that is seriously over the idea that we must spend money to be happy or show our love? Why should you pay $85 for a dinner that is normally $50? Why should you go out and be stuck in a busy room full of people with a time limit on your table?

Why can’t we celebrate who we are every day? Why can’t we treat each other with kindness and respect without being reminded that we have a day for that everything.

Personally, I think Valentine’s Day is the stupidest holiday ever.

When my guy asked me what we were doing tonight I said, “Nothing. All I want is you and I have that so it’s enough for me”.